Sacrifice

The law of thermodynamics states that energy cannot be created or destroyed; instead they can only be converted/transformed from one form to another with equal magnitude.

In other words, you must trade one type of energy you possess in order for you to obtain another type of energy that is of equal worth.

Another way to look at it: In order to obtain something you really want, you have to sacrifice something of equal value.

So I’ve been thinking: Is it true?

This is gonna sound ever so lame, but, really, friendship means so much to me. Once a friendship has been forged, I value it so much. I’m guessing it worth so much to me because I’ve been deprived of friendship during my two years in boarding school. It’s only logical that I took friendship real serious.

Looking straight ahead, I really want to become a doctor. Not because of the money. Not because of the status.

I want to become a doctor because I have a massive plan I promised myself that I would see to it. It’s not a child’s dream, but a very significant and big dream that none could ever imagine. I can’t reveal that dream right here and now, because that would spoil the mystery of it, wouldn’t it? Wait 25-30 years and the realized dream will be big enough for even people that didn’t know me to notice. I promised myself I’d see to it. It will happen, insya-Allah. Sorry for the long wait.

Anyway what’s the correlation between friendship and wanting to become a doctor?

I was in college, living very happy with my friends. And I mean REALLY happy. I could only hope time will freeze and things will stay that way forever. But since I’m bound to the world with space-time, I have to be washed away by the cruel current of time.

Now my dream of becoming a doctor means I have to go to a medical school and be torn apart from my dear friends. They have their own med school, and I have my own. Each of us goes our own ways. Torn apart.

People say with the advent of computer and the internet, you can always be with your friends, anytime, anywhere. Friendships don’t have to suffer ever again. That’s what people say.

I say internet cannot make up for the emotion and the aura of friendship you experience when your friends are side by side. So yeah, what those people said are totally busted. Friendship always suffers when the two ends of the rope are far apart. Sure, you can chat and mail as many as you want, but it’s not the same. Never.

Slowly the relationship deteriorates. All are busy in their own world. Soon too busy to chat or mail. That’s when the friendship is suffering great pain.

I’m saying this because it’s what I’m experiencing. And I hate it.

Am I trading the tenderness of my friendship for my dream of becoming a doctor?

Of course, by not choosing to become a doctor, it’s not like my friends won’t go away anyway. To choose or not to choose, that is not the question. What is inevitable is inevitable. I will still be torn apart form my friends.

But still sometimes I can’t help but think that I have to sacrifice my friendship for me to reach my goal. It’s painful, yeah. I have to swallow it, I know.

“In order to obtain something you really want, you have to sacrifice something of equal value.”

I guess it must be true. (except for the “equal” part)