The flight - I

Three. Three. Three.

Three more days before my flight away from home. To most of you, the previous sentence may seem totally innocent.

It is, actually, a sentence that I should be ashamed of. Normally, people would say, "Three more days before my flight to (a country's name)." Instead, I chose to use the phrase "away from home".

I should be ashamed, because that particular sentence came from a part of me who wants to run away from home, away from the problem, away from my heavy burden. I suspected as much. The burden is too heavy to bear. Shame on me.

I should be ashamed of wanting to run away.

Yet it is really what my heart desires. I want to leave behind my burden, and let that burden be carried by others, who already had their share of the burden. I wish to forget, and live my own live there, freely.

Yet it is not as easy as that. The burden can never be removed completely. I can only leave a small fragment of it. And everywhere I go, I shall always shoulder that burden. No matter where.

There is no escape. Not for me.

I should be ashamed of wanting to run away.