In need of a teacher II

Whenever I do something, I do it to the best of my abilities. That "something" includes pretty much everything. Sweeping the floor, making presentations, making yearbooks, cleaning the toilet. You name it. There ARE exceptions, though.

"What??? You give your best shot just to sweep the floor and clean the toilet? You freak!!!"

Oh well, I can pretty much read your mind. (I've got a software installed that allows me to read the minds of the people that visit my blog.)

Anyway, in case you don't already know, it's actually one of my principle.

"Where did you even get THAT principle???"

(Grin) Heh, if you don't know, keep on reading. Those of you who already know, well, oh what the heck, just keep on reading as well.

Rasulullah s.a.w said:
“Allah s.w.t. mengasihi hambaNya yang apabila ia bekerja, ia akan bekerja dengan penuh ketekunan dan kesungguhan.” (Al-Bayhaqi).

THAT is where my principle came from. And it never failed me.

So it's only natural that when I teach, I give my all. I teach in hope that my students (which are all Malays) will really understand and remember my teachings. I hope they will all succeed insya-Allah in their SPM and in the end get a decent job so that they can contribute for the future of the Malay people, Islam, and Malaysia itself. All in Allah's name.

After some time, I could sense that my students began to like me. They even prefer me over the real teachers with years of experience. They said that when I teach, they could really understand every single thing. Alhamdulillah.

As they have come to like, I have developed a kind of fondness towards them as well. I guess this must be what all my teachers felt. I guess that's why some teachers cry when they have to part with their students. Of course, that level of love must be achieved after years of teaching the students. Me? I haven't reached that level yet. But that small love is actually enough to make me feel all warm inside. It made me eager for the next class. And it also made me wanting to try even harder next time. It's like a positive feedback mechanism during child labor - production of oxytocin hormone causes contraction of the uterine wall, which in turn stimulate the production of more oxytocin. The cycle will continue until the baby is pushed out of the uterus. Then the mother will hold her baby with such tenderness and love and affection. The baby is the reward for all that hard work. In my case, my baby is the feeling of satisfaction, knowing that you have helped a person (or student). That is something money can't buy, not even Mastercard. "For everything else, there's Mastercard." Yeah, right.

Being a teacher is yet another noble job, not just a doctor. What makes it noble rests on the intention (niat).

In need of a teacher I

September, Oktober, November, Disember, Januari.


Aku ada lima bulan untuk diisi sebelum sayapku tumbuh. Kawan-kawan aku semuanya sudah migrasi ke UK, Ireland, New Zealand, India, dan Indonesia. Migrasiku ke Australia. Bulan dua, 2007.

Kawan-kawanku direntap kejam dariku. Hingga terkoyak hatiku. Sakit betul. Sedih betul. Memikirkan tentang kawan-kawanku hanya menambahkan lagi garam ke luka hatiku. Lebih baik aku sibukkan diri aku saja. Sekurang-kurangnya dapatlah aku melupakan kawan-kawanku buat seketika. (Maaf kawan-kawan!)

Tapi bagaimana? Bermain PS2? Takkanlah aku nak mengadap itu sepanjang hari. Mengamuk mama aku nanti. Tengok anime atau siri TV? Lama-lama lenguh pula rasanya badan asyik duduk saja. Reka wallpaper? Tak ada ilham pula. Melukis? Pun sama.

Habis tu apa?

Itu kisah aku lebih kurang tiga bulan yang lalu. Kini aku mengajar di Pusat Pendidikan Masteri sebagai seorang guru tuisyen. Pusat tuisyen yang menduduki dua lot pada tingkat satu bangunan rumah kedai di Pusat Komersial Taman Meru itu yang aku sangka pusat tuisyen yang biasa sahaja rupa-rupanya lebih daripada biasa. Agak berjaya. Banyak pelajar; daripada pra-Darjah 1 hinggalah ke MUET. Aku guru kepada pelajar-pelajar Tingkatan 4 yang bernasib kurang baik kerana langkah bodoh kerajaan menukarkan sukatan subjek-subjek sains dan matematik kepada Bahasa Inggeris. (Bukan aku tak setuju dengan penukaran bahasa itu, tapi janganlah tukar sekerat jalan. Budak-budak itu sebelumnya belajar subjek-subjek itu dalam Bahasa Melayu. Tukar secara tiba-tiba bagaikan seorang kanak-kanak yang dipaksa bertukar keluarga walhal keluarga asal yang sudah bertahun-tahun hidup bersama masih wujud. Kalau mahu tukar, tukar bermula daripada Darjah 1.) Jauh pula aku merayau. Apa-apa pun, aku mengajar subjek Chemistry dan Biology.

Nak tahu gaji aku? RM15 sejam. Aku mengajar sejam setengah pada hari Isnin dan sejam setengah juga pada hari Jumaat, jadi seminggu aku bekerja selama tiga jam. Sebulan berapa gaji aku? Hah, kira sendiri!

Bagaimana aku boleh bekerja di situ? Tak usah tanya. Panjang ceritanya. Cerita versi pendek pula malas mahu tulis. Aku memang manusia malas.

Suara Rindu

Buat sahabat sejati yang sedang renang dalam tasik sunyi... Moga kau naik ke tebing... Anas...

Andainya kau terperangkap dalam jerat sunyi,
dengarlah bisikan ini.
Andainya kerinduan membaluti hatimu,
dengarlah suara ini.
Andainya sayu itu sudah sebati dengan dirimu,
dengar jeritan ini.

Dengarlah,
ketahuilah,
bahawa aku juga terjerat dalam perangkap itu,
hatiku jua lesu barangkali dengan rindu itu,
sayu itu juga berakar umbi,
menjalar akarnya ke segenap tubuhku,
sejengkal jalarannya,
selabu air mataku,
kerna pedihnya rindu dan sunyi itu.

Dalam kepiluan itu,
bergetar pula hatiku,
sudah bosan barangkali,
"Adakah tangisan itu melegakan kerinduanmu?"
dan aku terhenti menangis.

Dalam kepedihan itu,
tersembunyi sebuah ujian,
"Adakah kau sanggup menahan?"
"Adakah kau akan pohon kekuatan dariKu?"
dan aku memandang ke langit,
setelah reda tangisan barulah kusedar,
betapa birunya langit di atasku.

Dalam kepiluan itu,
terselit seribu satu pengalaman,
yang terpahat dalam memori,
selamanya,
dan memori itu tidak sekali-kali akan padam,
meskipun setelah dua alam kulangkah dari dunia ini,
dan kuharap,
kuyakin,
suatu hari nanti,
pasti memori inilah yang akan dibualkan,
di suatu tempat,
yang di bawahnya mengalir sungai-sungai.

Adakah kau tahu,
betapa kumahu kau dalam dakapan eratku,
betapa kumahu pelukan itu biar kekal,
selama mana takdir memisahkan kita,
agar terhapusnya sunyi itu,
agar hilang haus rinduku,
agar kering air mataku.

Akan kunanti saat tiada lagi sunyi, rindu, dan pilu.



Haris Noor
Taman Meru
7 Disember, 2006
03:52

Sacrifice

The law of thermodynamics states that energy cannot be created or destroyed; instead they can only be converted/transformed from one form to another with equal magnitude.

In other words, you must trade one type of energy you possess in order for you to obtain another type of energy that is of equal worth.

Another way to look at it: In order to obtain something you really want, you have to sacrifice something of equal value.

So I’ve been thinking: Is it true?

This is gonna sound ever so lame, but, really, friendship means so much to me. Once a friendship has been forged, I value it so much. I’m guessing it worth so much to me because I’ve been deprived of friendship during my two years in boarding school. It’s only logical that I took friendship real serious.

Looking straight ahead, I really want to become a doctor. Not because of the money. Not because of the status.

I want to become a doctor because I have a massive plan I promised myself that I would see to it. It’s not a child’s dream, but a very significant and big dream that none could ever imagine. I can’t reveal that dream right here and now, because that would spoil the mystery of it, wouldn’t it? Wait 25-30 years and the realized dream will be big enough for even people that didn’t know me to notice. I promised myself I’d see to it. It will happen, insya-Allah. Sorry for the long wait.

Anyway what’s the correlation between friendship and wanting to become a doctor?

I was in college, living very happy with my friends. And I mean REALLY happy. I could only hope time will freeze and things will stay that way forever. But since I’m bound to the world with space-time, I have to be washed away by the cruel current of time.

Now my dream of becoming a doctor means I have to go to a medical school and be torn apart from my dear friends. They have their own med school, and I have my own. Each of us goes our own ways. Torn apart.

People say with the advent of computer and the internet, you can always be with your friends, anytime, anywhere. Friendships don’t have to suffer ever again. That’s what people say.

I say internet cannot make up for the emotion and the aura of friendship you experience when your friends are side by side. So yeah, what those people said are totally busted. Friendship always suffers when the two ends of the rope are far apart. Sure, you can chat and mail as many as you want, but it’s not the same. Never.

Slowly the relationship deteriorates. All are busy in their own world. Soon too busy to chat or mail. That’s when the friendship is suffering great pain.

I’m saying this because it’s what I’m experiencing. And I hate it.

Am I trading the tenderness of my friendship for my dream of becoming a doctor?

Of course, by not choosing to become a doctor, it’s not like my friends won’t go away anyway. To choose or not to choose, that is not the question. What is inevitable is inevitable. I will still be torn apart form my friends.

But still sometimes I can’t help but think that I have to sacrifice my friendship for me to reach my goal. It’s painful, yeah. I have to swallow it, I know.

“In order to obtain something you really want, you have to sacrifice something of equal value.”

I guess it must be true. (except for the “equal” part)